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A Trip Down The Memory Lane

I was scrolling through my photos and found a bunch of old photos. They reminded me so much of everything I have gone through in the past I thought that I’d share them with you!

This honestly brings back so many painful memories. For so many years, this used to be the photo I put on my fridge to shame myself for how fat I was, in the hope that I’d slam the door shut and stop eating. I was trying to lose the last 10kg but I was struggling to stay on my diet plan sooooo much…during the day, I’d be eating so healthy, only fruit and veggies…maybe some chicken breasts too…if I exercised… But then evening came, I was tired, I was stressed, I was S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G!!! The cake in the kitchen was screaming my name… “just one bite”…so I opened the fridge, dug my finger into the cake and sat on the kitchen floor, with the fridge open. I was holding a chocolate cake in one hand… “Oh no, my diet is ruined, I better demolish the cake before tomorrow so I can start again tomorrow”… , oh I’d better demolish the other temptations too… And before I knew it, I had a burger in the other hand…in the meanwhile… some cheesy pasta was cooking on the stove… I was busy tearing open biscuit packets, shoveling Pringles down my throat, and licking cake frosting off my fingers… Two hands and one mouth just weren’t enough… That’d always been how “just one bite” turned into… “One bite” was never “one bite”… “Tomorrow” never came… After all the food was gone, my stomach would hurt so much that I’d feel so sick and disgusting and bloated that I could barely move and I had to lie on the sofa for hours.

Here’s another one. I was in the dark hole of depression and anxiety. I spent the majority of my late teens dealing with depression and anxiety. I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. Food made me focus on something else… Food numbed my feelings… but then the guilt and shame kicked in… Even worse, I hated having to lie to my family all the time…I hated having to conceal my secretive eating habits from my family, my friends and I tried to convince myself I didn’t have any problems. The food didn’t even taste good anymore…It was just there to scrub out all the anxiety and darkness I felt on the inside… I felt so hopeless, and trapped in my own skin… It was a lonely, lonely time…

OK, last photo-this is a more recent photo! I was enjoying a lovely afternoon with my family AT A RESTAURANT not worrying about food. I ordered what I wanted, not because secretly in my mind I calculated how many calories might be in there, or what ingredients might be in each dish. If you asked me 10 years ago, I never thought I could enjoy restaurants. If someone had told the past me that I would be where I am today or that I didn’t have to spend my whole life counting calories, I would have thought they were crazy. Now looking back, I am so grateful for everything that I have gone through… even the lows! It was horrible back then and I wouldn’t wish for anyone to experience what I have been through, but my past has made me so much stronger as well…and has empowered me to work with other women who’re going through the same experience like I did. These photos may seem like random photos to you, but they hold so much significance for me: When I was struggling, I basically had no life…no hanging out with friends, only thinking about food all day, no confidence, no joy in life at all… I lived to eat and yet food controlled my life…I was just a slave to food… But now, food is just a normal part of my life. I’m no longer controlled by my urges, or rules that I couldn’t stick to. I’m no longer overwhelmed by guilt and shame. I no longer spend my days worrying and obsessing about food. I no longer spent hundreds of thousands of ££££’s on diet foods and binge foods. Once again, I’m enjoying food for its taste, the connection it brings between me and my loved ones. I enjoy restaurants, holidays and embrace life again. Thank you for walking down memory lane with me! Looking back, it was by no means an easy journey. But I'm glad I've experienced it all. And now I'm honored to be guiding many more women to walk away from this dark hole of yo-yo dieting, emotional eating and binge eating through the Stop Binge Eating Program.

What is your memory lane? And how do you want your memory lane to look? Where do you want to be a year from now? Here’s to creating many more memories with you, Helen


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Can you relate?

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Let's face it!

You're no longer in control of food,

👿👿👿👿 Food is in control. 👿👿👿👿

  • It numbs you from your emotions.

  • It stops you from fully enjoying life.

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  • It stops you from pursuing our dreams.

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